


Let Me Keep On Until I'm Dead And Gone

by creeptastically



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Future, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Species Swap, Trollstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1650530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creeptastically/pseuds/creeptastically
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which everyone is hurting, relationships don't get any easier, towns aren't built in a night, and trolls take a page from human romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Self Isolation with Eridan Ampora

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are 8 sweeps old. It feels odd to be this old. You didn't die at this age, but here you are. It is so old and this is so weird.  
  
The planet you are on is not Alternia and from what snatches you've heard from the humans, it's not "Earth" either. You assume Earth is where they lived. Probably a shitty place, this planet is shitty too, every thing is shitty. 

It has been about a week and mostly you shoot down local wildlife, and leave it where everyone has decided to temporarily set up camp before slinking away like a wounded animal. The big group makes you uneasy, and they all probably hate you. You are a terrible friend, a terrible moirail, but you are an excellent troll. The thought makes you sick for unknown reasons.

You are not the only one sitting on the edges of the conglomeration though. Gamzee has barely gone within five feet of the place. His behavior makes you sniff, even as you mimic it. Killing is what you were raised to do after all, there is no shame in it. But then you remember Kan's face when she rose back up, angry and betrayed and remember Fef lying dead and alone. Guilt makes bile rise in your throat. You have never wanted to sympathize with Gamzee Makara and yet here you are.

Karkat frets over him daily, stalking over and shouting his ear off about unity and how he needs to just get his ass up and over there to officially join the population of this new planet. Gamzee always smiles back but never responds as he pets his moirail's head until he's quiet again, then they whisper for awhile, shooshing and papping each other out of their moods. You watch the very private interaction with wide eyes. This occurrence always makes you feel worse, and you always leave to go kill more things when Karkat leaves.

You see the other Makara, silent and wary, and the other Lejion, tall and fierce, often when you go hunting. She is watchful if she spots you, but never says anything. You think that is another Makara who will never be harmed regardless of how much they deserved it. It is times like these you are reminded you don't have someone to protect you from the group's hate. You kill even more things to distract yourself from the sinking feeling in your stomach.

You have seen Fef a lot. She is with Sollox, smiling brightly or she is with Vriska, combing her fingers through the other troll's long hair. You wonder what that means sometimes, and how often your former moirail actually talked to your former kismesis. It does not matter now though, Fef is safe and happy and you realize you could not have made her happy, the same way you didn't keep her safe. This is the worst truth you have discovered.

You are a proud troll. Royal blood runs through your veins and you do not take to being alone the way Gamzee does. You are mostly confused, and guilt eats at you as you tell yourself that your actions were caste appropriate. This is a very tiring thing to process and you often curl up to sleep out in the open in a daze.

You are Eridan Ampora and you are very lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh I've never written homestuck before, this is exciting! :D  
> Okay some things before this story kicks into gear:  
> I am going to subscribe to the theory that there is a nook and a tentabulge in this story. It really doesn't matter because I'm planning for no porn but I really like the idea of everyone have both set of genitals and having gender be just a personal choice, because troll culture can be really different and cool and this sounds great. I do have the kids being really confused by their new junk and stuff so that mostly where this will tie in.  
> I'm going to switch POVs a lot. I have a Karkat written and a Dave in the works. I won't be doing everyone and I will repeat obviously but I do want to try Gamzee, Tavros, and Nepeta. I might also give John a try. Second pov is just so much fun to write in!!  
> Side note: Chapters might be short, but will always just have one POV. I hope to crank them out faster this way~  
> And with that, please enjoy the story! :)


	2. How Not To Handle Your Emotions With Karkat Vantas

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are almost 8 sweeps old. John tells you that means you're almost seventeen years old, just like he is and every time he does, you swiftly tell him to shove it up his ass.

There is a very large group of trolls staying in this area, and you say trolls because they all look a lot more like you now. Gray skin and candy corn horns dominate the landscape, and it freaks you out a bit. It is largly Rose's fault. The trolls out numbered the people and she felt it would be easier to only pick one species. She also argued that yours was a lot more resilient and frankly you stopped caring for awhile because cashing in on winning the game was actually a huge ordeal. As it stood, there were trolls and not humans.  
  
It has been a long week. You and Terezi are barely speaking and your moiral is sulking away from every one else. You get why, but you kind of need him here right now. But this time around you will listen to Gamzee and you will take care of him. You will not make it all about you.

You have lost track of the older Lejion and the older Makara. Eridan and the older Meguido are also not within the immediate vicinity. Everything feels chaotic, and you feel leadership is just what everyone needs right now. It is a shame you are such a terrible one.

You want nothing more then to sleep. Sleep is your primary output these days and really only John and Dave talk to you and you don't really want to talk to either of them. It is only when your dancester approaches you that you finally snap from your funk.

Kankri walks with purpose, and his eyes are completely red now. Your shared mutation has never bothered him the way it does you. He reminds you of the tinge that is sweeping into your eyes, and how impossible it will be to hide them. You heartbeat ticks up at the sheer thought. Eridan and Equius will slaughter you. Gamzee will most certainly leave you. You have already lost Terezi, you don't think you can handle losing any one else. Kankri reaches you by the time you are really starting to panic.

"Karkat, I do not mean to offend you but it is rather selfish to brood while everyone so clearly needs guidance. I apologize for crossing your boundaries, but I think it is time to get everyone moving and on the same page. Our session never had a real leader, but I'm sure they will follow you if you cease this, and pardon my insult, absurd behavior of doing nothing. I do not wish to trigger you but you are really being a grub abut it. It is time for you to realize your potential and stop the doing nothing. I believe-"

"Oh my god, can you stop talking for maybe five minutes you insufferable windbag. Just," you groan loudly. You are trying to even out your breathing and your mind is racing with lists and charts and things that need to get done as soon as fucking possible. You can do this, Karkat. You would like to sleep some more. You would like to not exist. Kankri just stares at you for a moment, looking slightly put out. He can promptly go jump off the nearest fucking cliff for all you care.

"Just let me get together some people and I'll try to set up a game plan. Fucking assholes can't function without somebody telling you what to do." You glance behind him, seeing who's closest. John is, and the last thing you want to do is talk to that over excitable dick wad.

"Can you find Meenah for me? I need too talk to her too." You ask him before fleeing and heading over to John, successfully avoiding his response.  
John is currently sprawled on the ground, babbling incessantly to Vriska and Feferi. He is blue blue blue, as if life could be more unfair to you.

"Hey Karkat," he greets you cheerfully, face lighting up. You resist the urge to punch it. How is he always so happy? It's nauseating.

"Hi dipshit, can we talk?" You sit down next to him.

"Sure!" His smile grows larger, which you thought impossible. He does not move from his position on the ground. You can feel the growl growing in your chest. This is it, you are going to hit him, screw being a leader, John is impossible. Sorry guys, you fucking quit.

"I was thinking farther away from the asshole peanut gallery" you prompt through gritted teeth.

"But Karkaaaaaaaat," Vriska drawls and you roll your eyes. "We're trying to have a conversation."

"Tough shit, this is top secret leader business, no spiders allowed," you snap harshly. Vriska opens up her mouth to reply her face darkening, but you are focused on Feferi taking her hand. A lot had happened in the veil. When all of your dead selves had snapped back into one person, it had been nauseating and disorienting. You don't know how the others are dealing with the results and maybe it's easier if you were already dead. The dancestors would know and if you can get any of them to stop being such enormous twats, you'll ask.

"Lets go and talk to Terezi, Vriska," Feferi says and she stands up, tugging the other troll up with her. "See ya, John!" She waves, smile bright and cheerful.

"Bye Joooooooohn," Vriska waves as well. She sticks her tounge out at you and Feferi gives you a pointed look. You feel your face contort from rage and pain. It was a low blow for Feferi to mention Terezi like that, she didn't even know what happened. Your heart beats painfully in your chest. You want to scream at her and you want to cry and you once again want to go back to sleep. You settle for frowning sharply at her retreating back.

"John, we have some problems." You start, trying to stay on track. Your voice sounds strangled even to your ears. John, to his credit, says nothing about it. Fuck him.

"What kind of problems?" He askes, eyes wide with curiosity. And no really, fuck him.

"We've got to get a plan of action together. We need permanent shelter and steady sources of food." You wish you had had enough winnings for paper. Sand was going to have to make do.

"You're right," he looks thoughtful for a moment, "I think we're going to need to include Dirk in this." And he scratches absentmindedly at the base of his horns.

"Fine," you growl out, fists clenching and unclenching. "One Strider was bad enough but now there are two of those cocky assholes." You will not hit anyone, you will not hit anyone, you will not hit anyone.

"You just can't handle their level of cool," John snickers. You promptly punch him in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEE chapter two! Dave's chapter is almost done. I would like to apologize in advance for my severe John/Dave tendencies but they are just so cute and I like to think that John has gotten a little less "NO HOMO" with age, because the trait was ridiculous even if he's canonically straight. (Thirteen-year-olds can be very insensitive, they've got a lot going on) In other news, Karkat is my spirit animal.


	3. Being A Troll With Dave Strider

Your name is Dave Strider and you are seventeen years old. You have recently stopped being a human being and started being a troll being. The whole process was hella weird and you are still not particularly fond of your new genitals. The horns are pretty badass though.

Peeing is a pain in the ass. The whole thing is just, it's similar to what you used to have but very red and very wiggly. Alien dick is weird, the whole thing is weird. You need to stop staring at it. You decide it's time to head back.

Jade is loudly admonishing Karkat when you return from you latest stint of spending way too much time peeing just to get used to your new alien extremities. John is on the ground, bright blue blood pouring from his nose. Panic flares in your gut, but your face barely shifts as you head over in their direction. Maybe your stride is just a bit faster than normal, but hey no worries here. You smirk to yourself, Striders gonna stride however they damn please.

“Hey nerd, what happened to the snoze?” You ask, sitting next to him. 

“I think I upset Karkat.” He snorts more than usual when he laughs. Your smirk softens a little. It looks a little bent, Karkat may have actually broken it.

“He really fucked you up, bro.” You bump his shoulder gently. You find John very reassuring. Post game, every thing is gonna be alright with Egbert on the scene, even bloody noses can't kill his vibe.

“It doesn't hurt too bad. It looks really cool though!” Your eyebrows tick up and Karkat makes a strangled noise in his throat. 

“John!” Jade does a complete one eighty to yell at him but her next words are lost as Karkat starts yelling.

“You fucking inconsiderate, ignorant fuck! So help me I will-”

“Karkat!” Jade rounds on him again.

“Yeah Karkles,” you coo “cool your jets.”

“Dave!” Green is rising on Jade's cheeks, but the shriek of rage Karkat releases is well worth her frustration. And, as a nice bonus, John is giggling up a storm. You are firing on all cylinders today. 

You are the first to see Gamzee start approaching. You had only spoken to the juggalo once and you were, quite frankly, expecting face paint. He is a bit of a let down but boy is he tall and those horns are sharp. You tense immediately.

“Clown, twelve o'clock,” you say and inch closer to John. You've heard the stories, and you are sure you can take him, you earned your godteir. 

Karkat does not even acknowledge you have spoken, swears and threats and general gibberish pouring out of his mouth like a river. Jade has gone to his side, eying the tall troll warily. She stands her ground even as he reaches them.

“And you're such a douchbag, your brain capacity is so low I don't even know how you function! You complete tool, with your superiority complex, just a fucking asshat with shit for brains! I want to-” And Gamzee is there, wrapping his arms around the much shorter troll. 

“Shoosh,” he murmurs softly. Jade squeaks, and back peddles closer to you and John. Your eyes widen with surprise. Karkat takes a deep shudder-y breath and Gamzee sits down, tugging him down too.

“Shoosh, brother.” He repeats, petting his hair softly. Gamzee start to rock Karkat back and forth slowly. You suddenly feel like you're intruding, and look anywhere but at the two trolls in front of you. You catch sight of a sea troll staring at your group a couple yards away, his glasses flashing in the light. It creeps you out just a bit and you flick him off. Jade pokes your shoulder, making you miss his reaction.

“Lets go see if Rose and Kanaya know who can help fix John's nose,” she says quietly. You both yank John into a standing position and lead him away. It isn't long before the three of you run into another sea troll. The whole thing feel ridiculous to you. Sea trolls, like being an alien wasn't good enough, they needed gills and fins. You don't even bleed a different color!

“What happened to you, guppy?” She asks, leaning towards John. You get a good glimpse of her teeth. It is perfectly ironic that they're shark teeth. You admire genetics dedication to your most sacred art and basically try to inhabit the same space as John. Today is really fucking with your new troll instincts. 

“Hey Meenah,” You marvel at how John remembers everyone's names, as you don't even know all of the original twelve trolls, let alone the second, bigger set. “I kind of irritated Karkat.” Her eyes flick towards where Karkat and Gamzee are still wrapped up in each other.

“Old shouty over there? Oh, hey and that's the other Makara kid too.” She crosses her arms, eyebrows scrunching up. “Glubbin clowns, they're super creepy. But I didn't know they were sea-ing each other.” You hadn't known either. That would explain why Terezi was so upset and Karkat so touchy. You make a note to find her later. Fuck Karkat, it's fun to watch him squirm.

“Meenah, you're a life player,” Jade starts. You don't like where this is going.“ Could you maybe fix John's nose?” You still don't like it.

“No, but Arenea might be able to.” Her smile is wicked. John sighs in relief. 

“Good, it's starting to hurt. Hey Dave, can you do me a favor?” And it is hard to resist his big blue eyes. (To be fair, the effect is only enhanced by the fact that he is covered in blue blood.)

“Sure, lay it on me bro,” Or lay on me. You blink rapidly because that was a bizarre thought. You wonder when you got this into John. You mean you've always been into John. Who isn't into John? The kid is an adorable nerd and a ridiculously good friend. He's your best bro and you all kind of saved the world together. You are effectively the right hand man to one of the leaders of your new troll world, and you just want to kiss him silly. Do you think he'd let you? What an abuse of power that would be. Other things to talk to Terezi about.

“Can you send Dirk over this way? We were gonna have like a leader meeting and he should be there.” John is fidgety with nervous energy.

“That's why the Insufferable sent me this way!” Meenah exclaims. “We've got fish to fry.” He nods to her.

“Sure thing, my ecto brother will be there to cause all sort of trouble.” You quickly abscond before anything else is said. Finding Dirk is a tricky business after all.

You and Dirk don't really get along. You have hardly had many conversations with with him, but it's always awkward. He looks like Bro, and though neither of you say it, you both know that you want him to be Bro. You miss your Bro. It is an annoying thing to think about, he's been dead for quite awhile but there was never any real time to mourn and seeing Dirk just makes it hurt. Dirk is not dealing with your emotional bullshit and it just makes getting to the point of a real relationship that much harder.  
You can do this though, if only for John and maybe Karkat. Besides only a Strider can find a Strider with any efficiency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jade or Feferi next :) GIRLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
> 
> And so much JohnDave in this chapter, so much. I loveeeeeee the idea that Dave has always loved John. It's cute, they're cute, I give all the drama to DirkJake


	4. Dealing With People by Jade Harley

Your name is Jade Harley and you are seventeen years old.

You are currently auspitcing for Karkat. It really is no surprise, you have been since you were both thirteen years old, and he was arguing with himself. It is an unofficial position and you are fairly positive it's supposed to be a bit more permanent then you and Karkat and whoever is pissing him off at that moment, but you are confident that you are going to keep the job.

Your desire to make it official has been increasing lately. Karkat is notoriously dense when it comes to his quadrants, and Kanaya is still reeling from his decision to take Gamzee back. (You feel awful even as you prepare to start auspicing him and Rose. Kanaya would make a great moirail to any lucky troll, but Karkat was always going to be wrapped up with that silly clown.)

You just don't know how to approach the subject with him. Troll romance is hard. Under better circumstances, you'd ask Kanaya. Otherwise being a troll is going great for you.

You quite like your horns, big deer antlers. They'll make hunting hard, but you like a challenge. And everyone is here now, even new trolls you've never met before. You've met all of Jane's friends, and they're so great. Jake especially, no one gets island life like he does. You definitely see your grandfather in him and you're sure he see's his grandmother in you. This only serves to bring you closer. You had also finally met Tavros. Lots of things had happened since you last spoke, but he is a lot more doe eyed then you had expected. His bull horns are huge and he speaks in a halting, stutter-y manner. He really is quite gentle and you guys once went and played with some local furry wildlife. He apologized for killing your grandfather and you forgave him. Being in the game had taught you that you had to forgive people. You had saved the universe, everyone was alive, it was time to move on. Anyways, you expect to spend a lot more time with Tavros, he's a big sweetheart, and you're very fond of him. 

It has been an exciting week for you, and you are just focusing on being happy and settling in.

You spend a lot of time keeping John and Karkat from killing each other. You once over heard a troll with a neat set of double horns muttering about how black that were for one another and they should just hate-date and get it over with. You have thought about letting them escalate with their relationship, but Rose had said John was definitely not ready to admit those kind of feelings yet, so you act, as always, as Karkat's personal austpice. You just had not expected to have to factor Dave into the equation. The whole situation was a disaster. Karkat had broken John's nose and then both John and Dave had irritated Karkat into a frothing rage so bad Gamzee had wandered into camp. It was terrible, you had been useless. You were going to give Dave such a talking to once you find him.

With John all fixed and Karkat all papped, they had decided it was a good time to have that leader meeting and since Dirk was present, it meant your Strider was not that far off. (You debated putting it off in case Karkat and John started going at it again, but it seemed to be an unspoken assumption that everyone's moirail was to come as well. You trusted Rose and Gamzee to be enough for now.) As is, you start scouring camp for the infamous Dave Strider, and he couldn't be that hard to miss, his skin may be gray now but he had kept his blonde hair. (Some of the trolls were almost scandalized by this lack of change. Trolls do not genetically have light hair, and yet there were four blondes now.) Still, it takes you forever to track him down.

When you do finally find Dave, he and Terezi are wrapped up in each other's arms. Terezi has obviously been crying. You freeze, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Dave of course notices you right away and stares at you over her head. You are sure he is glaring. You glare right back. The fuckass is messing with your ashen relationship, you have every right to be pissed. However, you are confident you've indicated that you want to talk to him, so you leave them alone. Terezi needs time with her moirail and you respect that.

You wait for what seems like hours. You contemplate how to get shouty mcshout pants to go official, you spend more time fondling your horns and poking at your gray skin, watching green blood flush through, you close your eyes and feel your new planet entirely, feel it spin and hurtle through space, feel the pull it has on it's six moons, feel how fast it orbits your small sun. You think about how different your life is now. You feel it is infinitely better, with all the people and all the friends and family you have made. You feel much better, and maybe you'll let Dave go this time. After all you have yet to officially declare yourself ashen with Karkat. Actually, this is really beginning to irritate you. You have to fix this before someone else moves in. You make a mental note to do just that and Dave chooses this moment to reappear, Terezi no where in sight.

"What's up, Harley?" He asks, still standing. You are in no mood to get up from your current position, and find his insistence on standing irritating. You guess you won't be letting Dave off scot-free.

"I want to talk about Karkat," you start, unsure which direction you want to take this.

"What about old Karkles?" You recognize Terezi's nickname, and wonder when Dave started using it consistently.

"Are you black for him? I can't chase you and John around keeping both of you from upsetting him while they try and help us build the new world." Dave shrugs.

"I hadn't really thought too deeply about it, it's just fun to rile him up."

"How could you do that to John?" You protest, voice rising. Boys are dumb.

"Do what to him?" Now Dave sounds defensive. Dave may have mastered the poker face but he's awful at controlling how he sounds.

"They are so black for each other, are you blind? They've been dancing around pitch romance from the second Karkat first messaged him. I thought you loved John, why would you mess this up for them?" You stand now, crossing your arms and giving Dave your best stern look. You have only ever disciplined Bec and Karkat, you're not sure if this glare works on cool kid Striders the same way.

"I would never, John isn't, ughh, just mind your own business Harley." Dave stutter's out, cheeks flaming red. He still looks so human, even in gray skin. It startles you, and you take a step back.

"Don't screw this up Strider," you warn, poking his chest for emphasis. You've always wanted to do that, it feels oddly empowering.

"Screw what up? There is nothing to ruin." He sounds frazzled. 

"You're so stupid!" You sniff, and walk away. You need to find Karkat. Boys are so _dumb_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this chapter? Piece of shit thats what.
> 
> I have either Tavros or Kanaya next and Fef after them, maybe the swinging back to  
> Eridan, seeing John and back to Dave.
> 
> I need to get this plot movinggggg


	5. Not Becoming Your Dancestor with Tavros Nitram

Your name is Tavros Nitram and you are 8 sweeps old. 

You are so much bigger now, and you have wings, like you just skipped past your official teenage pupation and went straight to being a beautiful butterfly. As it is, they work on over drive, because your legs still don't work. Your dancester, who walks on two legs, his wings fluttery and pretty and unnecessary, spends a lot of time commenting on how strong they are compared to his. You want to punch him in the face. It's the first time you've really let yourself be annoyed by something.

In fact this is the first time you've really felt much of anything without an overlying weight of uncertainty in your actions. You have confessed a little to Jade, who mentioned it might be the lack of Vriska in your life.

Vriska has always been a problem for you, she had been flipping black and red for you for most of your life and you had been dragged along bewildered by her interest. It was an awful mix, she was unpredictable and you were, well you. You don't know how to feel about her anymore. Feferi, Vriska's new moirail, keeps her away from you, and you feel relieved and lonely at the same time.

You do not, however, spend time dwelling on her. No instead you pour all of your energy into feeling out the local animal population. Karkat and the other three unofficial but why not let them have it leaders had come up with a plan. You spend all of your time with your dancester, whose name is Rufioh which you find not funny at all. The two of you are tasked with preventing over hunting and keeping local wildlife at sustainable levels. This job will not be difficult in the long run, but first you have to scope out what the population feels like now. 

You know Eridan, Nepeta and others you don't know so well are on the move out there. Nepeta hunts to feed everyone and Eridan hunts out of habit and you aren't sure where the others fall on the spectrum. Eventually you are going to have to talk to the group and give them some limitations. For now you just want Rufioh to shut up.

Rufioh is running commentary on his fellow trolls. He feels you need to know all the differences between everyone and is more than happy to fill you in on what you don't know. The only part that was vaguely interesting was your differing relationships with the Meguido's. His story makes you miss Aradia fiercely and want to punch him even harder simultaneously. 

You now understand all of Karkat's dancestor issues and you will never tease him about being black for himself ever again. Dancestor's are an insufferable bunch of trolls. Dave relates them to something called an “older sibling” but you prefer the term “pain in your ass.” You are determined to never be like Rufioh and this means you need to get a better handle on your quadrants.

You know Vriska is out of the question. There was too much pain there, too much history. You feel like what you've got going on with Jade now could go pale. You were such a mess with you quardrants when you were younger. You couldn't even imagine doing anything with Dave now, why did you ever say such a thing to him. And then there was Gamzee.

Gamzee is odd. He is constantly with Karkat these days. You know he was red for you, and sometimes you catch him staring at you at the random mealtimes that have been established. You admit you've woken up more then once to the sound of him sobbing while Karkat shushes him softly. This accordance gets under your skin and you can't quite fall asleep afterwards. You find with out the weight of Vriska over your shoulder that you pity him deeply, and the thought startles you.

As long as you don't pull a Rufioh you think it will turn out all right though. You just really can't become Rufioh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General silly-ness with Tav :) I will do Kan eventually believe meeeeeee, but first I am probs going to go back to Karkat. I think I need to touch base before more character tangents~  
> Small bit of plot in this though, and of course gamkar and gamtav. I'm am such a sucker for gamkar, everyone is talking about them and their very public pale affections :)


	6. Haircuts with Karkat Vantas

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are one week older then since you've last thought about it.

Currently, you are running your fingers through your moirail's hair in an attempt to detangle it some. Gamzee is purring, the sound low and rumbling. You have decided he needs a haircut and this is the first step in undertaking that massive task. 

You are so pale for this stupid wreck of a troll. He is taller than you remember, and looks so young without facepaint. This mass of knots he has the audacity to call hair is longer and he is absolutely littered with scars. And you are still so so so pale for him. 

“Careful Kar-bro,” he mumbles when you practically tear a part a particularly nasty knot.

“Shut your trap. Maybe if you took care of this filthy mane once in awhile I wouldn't have to pull it out your head.” You're scolding him and he chuckles, all light hearted and care free. You scowl, and tug a bit harder. You're serious can't he at least try. 

You're so glad this is how you've decided to spend your precious free time, getting Gamzee's hair back into a manageable state. You wonder if you could get him to slice some of your off next. Your horns are small enough as is, you don't need your hair covering them up too.

It has been a very busy second week on the new planet. Settlement establishing is in full swing. Getting this many trolls to work together has been tricky but with some playing with people's powers and aspects, you think you've paired them up safely. As is, you've got some excess jobs lying around too. Like you need some of the space players to help create a calender of sorts when there's time, and you'd love to convince the breath players to help you out with weather, but Dirk and Meenah had veto'd those for now and John had said they weren't pressing enough. 

Other than that though, you're quite proud. You haven't mentioned, but Gamzee knows and you've seen him tell more than one set of your grumpy friends and dancestors so. (He is so embarrassing. Your moirail is going to kill you with affection, you can feel it in your bones.)

You hit another snag in Gamzee's hair and growl in frustration. This is a fucking mess.

“You know what, you're just going to have to deal with whatever happens after I cut it off,” you declare loudly, picking a broken sickle from your sylladex. You had broken it for this very purpose, he had better be grateful. 

“I'm sure it will be fine,” he says. You know he won't care either way, but you're still scared of messing it up. You carefully pull up a piece and slice it off. You can do this Karkat, deep breaths, and you slice some more off his head. 

You are focused on you task and don't hear anyone approach until Gamzee speaks up.

“Kurloz.” You freeze immediately. Gamzee's tone has not changed but you think he sounds nervous. You bury one hand in his hair again, grounding him to you. You know Gamzee, he does not worry you, but Kurloz scares you. 

The older Makara in question is also without facepaint, and looks a tad less creepy with purple eyes then he did with white ones. He still makes you jumpy, and you just want to prevent anyone flinging any chucklevoodoos around carelessly. 

You spot the older Lejion, you think her name is Muelin, behind him. Her teeth are bared and claws unsheathed. She looks dangerous and you don't want to give her any reason to jump on you, you don't think you could control Gamzee and defend yourself at the same time.

“What are you looking for, my spirit brother?” Gamzee asks, sounding cool and collected. Your heart hammers in your chest, and you can't breathe, you are so nervous. 

Kurloz, in response, makes some gestures with his hands and nods towards you a lot.

“What the fuck does that mean, you piece of fucking shit?” You blurt out, and dammit your mouth is going to get you killed. Muelin growls loudly and you jump. Gamzee tugs your hand out of his hair as he stands. He casually snakes an arm around you and speaks again.

“Sorry, you're going to have to be more fucking clear with your mother fucking answer.”

And when Kurloz “speaks” you are positive everyone can hear him, because the camp goes deathly silent.

“I JUST WANTED TO GET MY HAIR CUT TOO”

“What?” you shriek, “What the actual fuck? You gigantic asshole excuse of a clown, I'm going to take everything I can find in your sylladex and shove it up your nook. I can't believe you just waltz here all creepy and tall and threatened me to get a fucking haircut. You are the epitome of creepy ass clown, I swear I'm gonna-” You try to take a step forward, intent on screaming as close to his face as you can possibly get, because Kurloz is a real fucking piece of work who deserves it, but several things happen before you do.

Meulin leaps forward as Gamzee tugs you closer to him. Suddenly, in a quick flurry of motion you still don't understand, John, Dave and Eridan are there. Dave has Muelin's arm in his grasp, poker face in tact, John has zillyhoo out, standing in front of you protectively, and Eridan is point his massive gun into Kurloz's chest.

“You're all fucking idiots,” you moan. You hate everyone. Gamzee is still clutching you close to his chest. You can tell this many trolls is bothering him, and you truely hate everyone in the most platonic sense of the word.

“I'm not standing down until catbitch stands down,” Dave spits out. 

“You won't get close enoufurr to touch him,” Muelin shoots back.

“Asswipes, can we just,” You try break in.

“I don't trust him wwith you Kar,” Eridan agrees. This blindsides you in every way possible.

“I call bullshit on the biggest fucking hypocrite on the planet, you can't just-” Your perfect retort is interrupted by a very loud cry of 'Kurloz' and next thing you know Mituna and Latula are here too. It's a down right party here now. 

The elder Captor and Makara are rapidly motioning to each other, Mituna talking enthusiastically as he does so. Muelin relaxes a bit, tugging her arm out of Dave”s hand. Dave falls back graciously to your side and the other two stand down as well.

“So what do you want to do here, Karbro?” Gamzee asks you. He feels tense and sounds even worse. You slip your hand into his and squeeze lightly.

“I'll just cut his damn hair, over dramatic, dangerous fuck.” 

“No you won't, you're terrible at it. How about we let me try.” And the surprises keep on coming as Kanaya sweeps into the scene. You sputter out of shock. You thought she hated you. You want her to hate you in a completely not romantic way because she deserves to hate you like that. But here she is, smoothly removing a pair of scissors from her sylladex. 

You've never seen Eridan abscond any faster than he did the moment he caught sight of the rainbow drinker. John and Dave leave a bit later, Dave checking to make sure you'll be okay as he goes.

“I once saw Kanaya slice a troll in half, and Gamzee has killed more people then I like to think about, I think I'll be fine,” you tell him harshly. He smirks, but goes away all the same.

Kanaya is dutifully snipping at Gamzee's hair, and frankly she is a lot better than you are at it. To be fair though, Makara hair is just one giant mess on their heads.

You sit in Gamzee's lap, clutching his hand and leaning into his chest. You think he needs the contact as much as you do just this minute. He chats with Kanaya easily, and you sit there feeling very very awkward. In no time though she's asking Kurloz to come sit in front of her.

“I'm going to go talk to my spiritbro's mates.” Gamzee announces. You scowl at him, and he just nudges you closer to Kanaya. You hate it when he's reasonable but you do need to talk to her. Still, you wait until Kurloz has finished and left to go join Gamzee before you approach her.

“Hey, would you maybe mind doing mine?” You don't look at her as you ask, you don't want to read her expression.

“Sure Karkat.” You're both silent as you settle down in front of her, and she starts to untangle some of the knots in your hair. You think about ten minutes pass like this, in awkward silence and sounds rustling hair.

“I'm sorry,” you start suddenly, “I didn't think of it like that but I was just using you because I was a shitty moirail and I shouldn't have done that you. You deserve a lot better, and I'm sorry.” She sighs, and starts snipping at your hair.

“It's okay, I assumed things instead of asking you outright. It was silly of me.”

“But I did what wasn't okay,” You protest loudly, “You don't deserve to be treated like that and I'm a shitty excuse for a friend because I did that to you.”

“Thank you Karkat, and you aren't a shitty friend.” You hear a very loud snip and you gut drops. “Although I might be.” And you can hear the grin in her voice.

“You fucking didn't,” you shout, hand flying to the top of your head, where there is now a very noticeable, slightly large patch of super short hair. You let out a whine, “Kanaya!”

She laughs openly, and you throw dirt at her and she just laughs harder. You hate her, you hate her so much. You're very glad you're friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jfdjhldjhg Karkat, Karkitty, Karkles, you silly silly crabby boy. I don't like keeping him too upset for long and he and Kanaya are such great friends, it's about time he apologized. 
> 
> I will address the trials of having the Makaras there at a later chapter. After all, they've done some bad things and while Gamzee has the ultimate protection of a one Karkat Vantas, it's harder to be convinced that Mituna can be as effective moirail to such a dangerous highblood. Drama shall ensue!!
> 
> But for now Eridan is next, and it's going to be everyone is going to apologize to Kanaya time because she is fabulous and nice and don't be a dick to Kanaya okay.


	7. Apologizing with Eridan Ampora

Your name is Eridan Ampora. You feel both very young and very old.

You are currently miles underwater, surrounded by fish. You are efficiently killing them with ease and in great numbers. This is your job right now and you will do it right.

You are very aware that somewhere around you is Feferi, Cronus, Meenah, and a former human named Roxy. You are pointedly ignoring their existence. You haven't been able to breathe properly for weeks, and the whole debacle with Karkat and Kurloz just rocketed up your feeling of suffocation to an unheard of level. You were more than glad to go when Karkat told you that you were needed out at sea.

Everything about you hurts. Every deep breath of water that filters through your gills hurts. Your heart beating hurts. Just thinking hurts. You don't think you'll ever be able to get out of the water though. Being this weightless is easier then lying on the ground at the surface.

You catch sight of the net coming towards your most recent kill sight. You kick out of the way, and watch as Roxy and Feferi tie it up. Fef doesn't look at you, and you feel as if you've caught on fire, right here underwater. Roxy however swims over to you.

“We think that's all we'll need,” she says, and talking under water is weird, everyone sounds so slow. You nod tensely. She looks confused but continues.

“So, I guess that means we can head back now.”

“I think I'll stay here for a bit.” Replying is very difficult, and you are almost sure your words have lost meaning they are so slow.

“Suit yourself,” She shrugs and darts back to Fef's side and they start pulling the net away. You see Cronus and Meenah pulling another out of the corner of your eye and you watch the group fade out of sight. 

You are not sure how long you float there, it could be hours. You're starting to feel very hungry but you ignore it. You are concentrating on breathing. Deep breath in, long sigh out. 

You don't know who you are anymore. You are a total fuck up, and everyone hates you, every single troll on this planet. You don't know why they brought you back, because you were better off dead. Deep breath in, long sigh out.

You float for what could be minutes, hours, hell even days. No one does self pity quite the way you do, you are an expert. Deep breathe in, long sigh out.

You haul your ass out of your stupor after a long while. You still don't feel any better, and you still don't know what to do with yourself. You just take another deep breathe in and release another long sigh.

You are however very tired. You're also hungry but it's easier to ignore that in the dull ache that is your feelings. You start to swim back to shore. You can't sleep underwater, you'll wake up feeling more strangled then you already do. (This is the real reason you had lived above ground, but you had only ever told Fef. You'd rather die then let any of the others know.)

When you hit dry land and haul yourself out of the water, you don't immediately see anyone. It's daytime, the sun at it's highest point in the sky. You assume everyone must be sleeping. The sun here wasn't dangerous like that Alternian sun, but it was hard to kick the nocturnal habit. Your sleep however is all screwed up and for now you welcome the sun's embrace, and the isolation it gives you.

You collapse on the beach and will yourself to dry off faster as sand plasters itself to your back. It's a really shitty beach your lot have chosen to move in next to. The shore is small and covered with rocks and sticks and general junk. You hate it, but you mostly consider it home at this point.

You hear Kanaya before you see her. The shitty sand makes silent movement almost impossible. You tense, expecting a blow, physical or verbal. She just sits down next to you. You let the silence stretch, feeling dread build up in your stomach.

“The humans, well former humans, love the sunshine as well.” She tells you what seems like eons later. You want to tell her that it's such bullshit they've changed, and that Roxy is a caste above you of all people. You're trying to be good this time around however, so you say nothing. More silence, you feel your heart racing and start to systematically slow it down. You slow your breathing,clench and unclench your hands slowly and close your eyes.

Kanaya is warmer then the sun on your face. You always feel cold these days, violet blood or not. You focus on the heat, and your heart slowly calms down. Your stomach is still twisted in knots though.

“I'm sorry,” you say, feeling warm and sick, eyes still squeezed shut. “I'm so glubbin sorry.” Your voice cracks, and you start to fiddle with the rings on your fingers.

“I have talked with Rose a lot. She has not grown very fond of you based on what she has heard. In fact she maintains it was right to blow up your computer and is only disappointed she had not injured you in the process.” You peer up at her, and she's smiling wide, fangs glinting in the sun. You slowly sit up, wrapping your arms around your legs.

“The end was not very kind and I was very glad to have made it out alive. Karkat made a tough decision when he brought everyone back from the bubbles. Sure it meant we had Aradia, Sollux, Feferi, Nepeta and Equius back but it also meant bringing back you, Vriska and Gamzee. There is a high death toll among the three of you after all.” You feel her watching you as you nod.

“I know.”

“Exactly, Karkat is a brave troll, a great friend, and an excellent moirail. You two were close, right?”

“Yeah.” She smiles at you now.

“He's got a soft spot for people, he believes they can change.”

“And you?” You interrupt her tentatively. She looks away abruptly. 

“You killed my matriorb,” she says plainly, “and tried to do the same to me. You make it very hard to trust you Eridan. I made that wand remember?” And you do, vividly, like how you remember striking her with it's blast, ripping a hole through her midriff.

“I left it out at sea,” you admit, voice tiny. She laughs, loud and clear at that.  
“Hardly undoes the damage. You killed Feferi before my very eyes and left Sollux to rot. Karkat has found forgiveness for these kinds of actions, but I have not.” She shakes her head, pinching at the space between her eyes, classic Kanaya.

“What did Rose say?” You ask her.

“To leave my chainsaw behind.” 

“Okay.” You decaptchalogue your gun and Kanaya jumps. Her claws are digging into your arms and her fangs are bared at your throat. 

“Hey, hey I was just gonna get rid of it to show you I trust you. I'm sorry, Kan.” She releases your hands with a growl and draws back in one fluid motion.

“Eridan, you despicable troll. You don't change, your just as underhanded and out to irritate me as before, I swear.” She goes on and you watch her work herself up into a frenzy. Kan has always had a temper, and she's even more dangerous as a rainbow drinker. 

You've never pacified another troll, you were always the one who needed it. Your fragile ego and fierce hatred for landwellers meant you were always bound to go off about something. You're nervous, she's angry, spitting mad and looks read to tear someone apart with those fangs.

“Kan,” You start, taking her hands, “I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry, Kan, shoosh, I'm sorry. I'm such a douchefin, I'm sorry I hurt you,” She looks taken aback for a moment and then starts to sob. Before you even register it you sobbing too. 

You don't know how long you're on the beach, chanting 'I'm sorry's to the jade blood in you arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So pale~   
> I def told my boyfriend that I was gonna make Eridan cry this chapter and whoops I made Kanaya cry too.  
> I am very fond of EriKan pale you can not stop meeee
> 
> John next! It's time to do some world building and touch on the general public opinion of the Makaras~ :)


	8. Co-Leading A Town With John Egbert

Your name is John Egbert and you are seventeen yeas old. 

This is the most exciting thing to have happened to you since Karkat and Dave crashed in front of you during the game. This world is new and sunny and fresh. Your horns are killer, and your blood is a bright blue. Sure, you're sleeping on the bare ground for now, but you haven't been happier in a long time.

Right now, you are doing one of your main jobs as one of the leader's and that's checking on every one's progress. Dirk and Karkat want some numbers, and some questions answered. How does the animal population look? What about planting? Have we found a suitable material to build habits out of? The list goes on and on.

Frankly, if Dirk wasn't involved, you'd skip a question or two just to irritate Karkat, he's so funny when he's mad. Rose sometimes waggles her eyebrows at you, but you laugh it off. Karkat is just your friend right now, theres way too much to do otherwise. 

You wave at Meenah enthusiastically as she comes back from what looks like a pointless conversation with Eridan. She steers towards you looking agitated.  
“Hey, how's the fishing and hunting numbers going?” You ask her, sounding bright and chipper.

“That moron is glubbing impossible. It's Cronus all over again, minus the freaky scar,” she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest.

“They do have the same teeth,” you admit. The Amporas have shark teeth, and frankly they give you the chills when you catch sight of them. She sighs loudly.

“Don't patronize me guppy. How are your number looking anyways? I don't want to give nofin to shouty and stoic.”

“Jade has got some seeds! She used to grow pumpkins and squash and corn! Yes corn! Rose says corn is a very good thing to have, because it can be turned into flour and such. They're both trying to throw together a how to on planting and such.” You are really excited about this. This means food other than meat can be grown, and harvested. You are prepared for better food soon.

“The tiny Nitram, who is dolphintly better then Rufioh, has some crazy plants some land critter showed him. Maybe we could eat some of those too.” She looks towards the forest, where both Nitrams have been for days. You're confident they'll be done mapping out soon though.

“I'll send Jade his way then!” You make a note of it on your paper.

“Anyfin elese?” She asks, looking bored now, skimming though her list.

“Equius and Horrus, who are wicked cool by the way, say that between them and Dirk they've got enough metal for certain things, but we need to ration it carefully. Jane still has some cooking supplies buried in her sylladex and Jake is running low on ammo.” You flip some more.

“This is the last of the paper,” she chimes in. “No one I've talked to has a clue how to make more.”

“It's a tree thing,” you explain, “First you pulverize them and then smash it into pulp which is flattened and bleached to make paper. I'm sure we could make our own.” 

“Well guppy, you shore are full of surprises,” Meenah smiles at you, showing her own set of razor sharp teeth. You grin back. 

“Well I think that might be enough to bring back to Karkat and Dirk for now,” you hum in consideration. You know you're forgetting something.

“We need the freaky psychics,” Meenah says, sounding unhappy.

“Well that's Sollux , Aradia, Mituna, Damara and the Makaras right?” 

“Nope, the Makaras have chucklevoodoos, a reely useless skill for scaring other trolls. Also, Mituna burned himshellf out, there's nofin left there to harvest.” She makes a face and then shuffles her papers together. “I can't talk to Damara anywaves, not without an austpice, and sorry guppy I just don't think you're up to that task.”

“I'll talk to her then! I have to go get Sollux and Aradia anyways.” You volunteer quickly.

"It's your funeral, guppy." So you and Meenah say your goodbyes, and you go troll hunting. You've actually never met Damara, but you're sure she can't be that bad. 

“Sup, Egbert?” You startle so badly that you trip and face plant, smack right into the ground. Dave laughs, and helps you up.

“Daaaaavvvveeee,” you whine.

“Lets get you all dusted off, check those glasses.” You can hear the grin in his voice, even though his face doesn't change. His heads are everywhere at once, patting you down, and adjusting your glasses. You pout the whole time. 

“Dave come on, I'm fine.” He tweaks your nose and you squawk loudly.

“Now you are. So where are you off to?” He leans against you and you roll your eyes, shoving him off.

“I need to get Sollux, Aradia and Damara. Karkat wants them.” 

“Old Karkles! Excellent, I'll come with.” He flashes you a real smile this time and you pretend there isn't a small flutter of butterflies in your stomach. Now is not the time for a sexual identity crisis. 

“Dave, this is serious leadership stuff,” you tell him.

“And you need a wingman,” he counters.  
“Daveeeeee,” you frown sharply. 

“Johnnnnn,” he throws an arm over your shoulder, “please?”

“Fine, but lets try and not make Gamzee have to interfere this time, Jade might blow a gasket.” You shrug his arm off and start walking and he follows chattering about how Jade needs a good workout every once in awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I just want to say ahhh thanks to everyone who is reading<3 I had a really hard time getting back into writing and wanting to write and this experience by far has helped so much :) Everyone who comments and bookmarks and kudos or even just looks at this once makes me so happy, so thanks so much guys<3<3<3<3
> 
> In other news, I have totally decided my main four voices will be Eridan, Karkat, John and Dave and others mixed in between. (Like that Kanaya chapter I keep promising...) I also have the next chapter which is Dave already written so I'll probably post tomorrow ;D


	9. Meetings with Dave Strider

Your name is Dave Strider and seventeen is turning out to be the most confusing year of your young life so far.

You and John have already tracked down Sollux and Aradia and delivered them to Karkat as promised. Damara was no where to be found and Aradia had told you it was pointless to talk to her, you wouldn't understand a word she said anyways.

“I think our best bet for housing is wood,” John is offering to the little group assembled. You've officially crashed this group meeting, so you're trying to stay on your best behavior. You'll see how long that lasts though, because both Karkat and Dirk are here

“Sollux and I can take down trees easily, Kanaya could probably help too. Why isn't she here?” Aradia puts in and Sollux nods along. Karkat starts to cough, choking on his own spit. You snort, and elbow John gently, who's grinning ear to ear.

“I'll ask her later,” he says finally, fidgeting slightly and not looking at anyone. Both Dirk and Aradia's eyebrows go up.

“KK, now ith not the time to be awkward with an expalemate,” Sollux teases and Karkat goes red.

“That not why I'm not talking to her right now you asshat!” Karkat shouts defensively. 

“Thure it ith, KK, thure it ith,” Sollux's smirk widens. You don't think it's funny, actually you want Sollux to back off from whats yours.

“Shut up, Thollux,” Karkat bites back. Sollux's face darkens. But Aradia takes his hand and shooshes him gently before he can say anything back. You and John exchange looks. You're glad he feels the same, Karkat is your territory and you don't like Sollux black flirting with him much at all.

“Anyways,” Dirk breaks the focus from Karkat and Sollux's glaring contest to him, “John is suggesting we essentially build log cabins.”

“Or we could build frames for them and then panel them with wood,” John points out.

“Does anyone here know how to build a frame for a house?” Dirk asks, sounding his words out closely. You scoot a bit closer to John in an effort to tell the other Strider to step off.

“It was just a suggestion,” John sounds hurt when he replies.

“Well we're in luck, we all know how to build fucking hives in our sleep, and I hate to admit it but John is right wood is probably our best option.” Karkat jots some things down on his paper. You try and radiate your feeling of smugness in Dirk's direction. You notice him lean back from his position of slowly getting in John's face.

“It'll be a pain to build houses for everybody,” John worries.

“He's right,” Dirk admits, “We should see if anybody wants to pair up.”

“Well we should all ask around and see what everyone says. I'll fix one gigantic pain in the ass right now and say I'll live with Gamzee.” You lean over Karkat's shoulder and watch him start mapping out a chart on the back of one of his papers, and then put him and Gamzee together. 

“You shore you want to do that shouty?” Meenah asks.

“It's not like anyone else is gonna put up with his juggalo ass and you guys won't let him live on his own. Let me deal with my own moirail why don't you.” Karkat doesn't look it up, but his grip on his pen tightens and he sounds bitter. No one says any thing for a little bit.

“Okay,” John whispers into the silence.

“Well, is that all we've got to talk about?” Meenah prompts the small group.

“I think so, Meenah you can ask your lot, I'll ask mine, John you can ask yours,” you swear Dirk was challenging you when he said that last part, “and Karkat can ask his.” Karkat groans loudly. Dirk stands up, brushing his clothes off.

“We should start building the day after tomorrow,” Karkat says, “I'll talk to Kan, Aradia and Sollux be ready.”

“Sure Karkat, we'll be there.” Aradia tells him before she leads Sollux away.

“Sweet, sea you guys later then,” and Meenah leaves too. You poke John, and jerk your thumb at Karkat. He shakes his head, but smiles. You take that as a go ahead.

“Karkles, I think you're gonna need some neighbors and John and I volunteer for the job.” You say, moving in on his personal space.

“Oh no Strider, the last thing I want to do is live next you two fucking idiots.” He doesn't even look up. John slides in on his other side.

“But Karkat it could be so much fun and we could probably lead a little easier if we all stay in the same vicinity.” He reasons.

“Then I change my no to a fuck no, I will not live that close to two Striders.” Karkat viciously scratches something out on his paper. You and John smile at each other over him.

“But Karkatttttt,” you whine in unison. He makes an angry noise and stands up. 

“You two are fucking impossible!” He shouts before storming off. You and John touch fists.

“Mission accomplished, bro.” You tell him. You are excited, this is John and Karkat down in one go. You didn't even have to ask John if her wanted to live with you.

“We're gonna prank him all the time, it's gonna be great!” You smile as John collapses into a fit of giggles. This is your perfect scenario and you can't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat next, then I might do a Roxy, because we need some alpha loveee~ I also need to settle on a Dancestor that I like to write in so we can look at them some, but that is a chapter for another day :) (The Kanaya chapter is in the works, I've got this, Kanayaaaaaa)


	10. Building with Karkat Vantas

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are too old for this shit.

You feel as if you are constantly on edge about everyone else's quardrants all the time. It is an exhausting way to live and you are quite sick of it. 

Gamzee, your ridiculous moirail, knows you're stressed. He has stopped leaning on you quite so much. He thinks you need him more, and while of course you need Gamzee, you know he needs you just as much. You really need him to understand that you can still handle him even when you're busy and panicky about other people. You are his moirail, not the entire population's even if it sometimes seems like it.

This brings you to the present, where you are fretting over other people's quardrants and the need to get these hive frames up. 

You are overseeing the massive project, keeping everything in order and everyone working smoothly. You have Aradia, Sollux, Equius, Horrus, Eridan, Gamzee and Kanaya all working on the task. It is a group of people with a ticking time bomb of drama on their heads, and you're getting an ulcer just thinking about the fallout after it goes off. 

There's a small yelp of pain from Eridan over by the first hive in the set is being placed by Aradia and Sollux. Sollux, aka Mr. I'm-the-biggest-black-flirt-on-the-planet, is going to drive you nuts. Maybe that's what he wants, you honestly can't tell anymore. You do, however, resist the urge to toss the nearest rock in their direction in retaliation. You settle for shouting at him instead. 

“Sollux will you please be more fucking careful with that side of the frame, or a I swear to gog I will beat you with the pieces when it fucking breaks.” His undoubtedly lewd retort is drowned out by the thud of Aradia dropping the other side into place. You catch sight of Eridan rolling his eyes in Kanaya's direction, where she just shrugs.

In a completely physical sense, you don't know how long Aradia and Sollux can last.

In a completely not physical sense, you really don't want to get tugged into an ashen with Sollux and Eridan and you have given direct orders to Aradia to keep Sollux calm and that if she lets that happen that you personally will be the one to kill her this time.

Eridan's presence is throwing you off. He had just showed up this morning and it's not like you were going to turn down the free labor. But you had to shuffle a ton of people around to accommodate to his existence. Like how you had sent Feferi out with Tavros and Rufioh to catalog fish, Vriska in tow and how you changed the way Sollux needed to be handled for the time being. And well Kanaya...

“Okay, tell me you two shitholes are done getting this frame set, because I have the two most disgustingly sweaty trolls I've ever met here to take it from you, so please tell me it's finally fucking ready before I can no longer smell anything for fear of it being a Zahhak.” Really, Equius makes you super uncomfortable and his dancestor is no better.

“As always, you are a very appreciative leader Karkat, why would we want to work for anyone else.” Kanaya smiles at you, and Eridan giggles obnoxiously. Rose has been rubbing off on her since day one, and it's going to kill you one of these days, just not today.

“Bite me,” you snap, “Is it done or not?”

“Of course it is Kar, wwe'vve got this.” Eridan says smugly. Fuck his face, you have done far too much for him today alone to get that kind of attitude.

“You can send Equius and Horrus over whenever, and we shall start on the next one.” She stands and Eridan immediately follows her lead. She gives him a look, one eyebrow arching sharply, and he sighs irritably before turning to you. You want to bang your head off the nearest surface but face palm instead.

“Sorry for being an asshole Kar, I knoww you'vve done a lot for me.” He says quietly. You refuse to look at him.

“Yeah, no problem, just go and do your fucking job like I asked you to,” you reply, arms crossed. You see Kanaya nod and they leave to go cut and place more trees. You've never seen Eridan try so hard to please one person in your entire life, and it's fucking sickening.

Gamzee was the one who had told you about seeing them on the beach. You had flipped the fuck out, expecting one of them to be dead before he had calmed you down and described the scene to you. It sounded frighteningly pale, and you preceded to panic once again.

Of course that was hours ago and you are now many Gamzee shoohes later, but you're still nervous as hell. What she kills him again? What if he kills her? And this could all happen on your watch. You're forcing yourself to trust Kanaya's judgment but it's hard. 

And speaking of murderous highbloods, yours is bleeding all over the place. Again.

“Gamzee, you useless sack of shit!” You shout, making your way over to him as quickly as possible. “What part of you're no longer immortal did you fail to grasp?”

“Sorry best friend, but these motherfucking frames are heavy and I just can't keep my head from hitting them sometimes.” He tells you, as you stem the flow with a spare t-shirt. It's just a cut on his head, pouring excessive amounts of blood considering the severe lack of damage there is to his body. You are positive Sollux let it fall again, accidentally on purpose. You're going to kick his ass.

“Be more fucking careful, I mean jegus I just need you to hold these up until they're nailed together. You can do this shit.” You pet his hair a bit. He's ridiculous. 

“I know, let's get this moving fuckers.” He pulls away from you and straightens. The cut is already clotting and he goes back to work, flashing you a lazy grin. You let him go with an irritable sigh. 

“Aradia, part of keeping Sollux in check includes not letting him injure Gamzee!” But when you turn around to continue your scolding neither psychic is were they're supposed to be. Shit. You took your eye off of them for like maybe a minute. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya chapter, Kanaya chapter, Kanaya chapter next, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


	11. Complicated Relationships With Kanaya Maryum

You're name is Kanaya Maryum and you are 8 sweeps old. 

You and Feferi had been close at one point but you didn't think that was the case any longer. You loved all your friends of course, but there are eleven of them and things get in the way sometimes. So when she and Vriska sit down with you and Rose at dinner one night to say you are surprised would be an understatment. You are used to various other visitors; from all of the former humans, Terezi, your dancestor, Porrim, and now Karkat with Gamzee, dinners with you and Rose are usually a crowd of various people, but Feferi and certainly not Vriska have never been a part of them.

Eridan alerts you to her presence before you see her. He doesn't say anything but you feel him tense, and you can almost see him shrivel up. When Karkart notices her, he is, as always, quick to comment.

“I go a whole six sweeps on Alternia and a sweep and a half in that infernal game seeing them maybe like five times and now I'm just constantly surrounded by fish!” He grumbles to you. Roxy and Rose over hear his complaints and laugh, Roxy fluttering her newly acquired earfins. You smile good naturedly, but it doesn't reach your eyes, you're worried about the shade of gray Eridan has just turned.

“Long time no see, fussy fangs,” Vriska greets you, smirk playing on her lips.

“Hello Vriska, enjoying your new moiraillegiance?” You reply coolly. Vriska at her core, just wants to cause trouble and you grew out of finding that interesting two sweeps ago.

“Princess cuttlefish here is no fun, I don't know why I put up with her,” Vriska flips her hair over her shoulder and throws an arm around Feferi, grinning madly.

“Vriska, stop it you sea-lly troll!” Feferi looks equally happy, and you're very glad they both found someone in each other, they deserve it. 

To your right, you think Eridan might actually crumble into dust. You take his hand and squeeze it gently. You may not be an official thing yet, but you can't not comfort him when he looks ready to vomit, cry and shout all at the same time. 

“I'm goin to go,” he announces suddenly, standing quickly, “I'vve got some important business, Tavv needs a fish count for yesterday, there are still a couple frames that need nailed together.” He makes a very big show of taking your hand and kissing it. You raise your eyebrows at him but don't say anything. It's been awhile since someone has tried to impress you instead of it being the other way around, so you let it slide. Then he is gone with a sweep of his cape, heading towards the ocean.

“He looks like Karkat after one of his big leader speeches,” Gamzee says into the confused silence. Karkat squawks, face coloring as the others break into laughter. You and Rose however are trying to hold a silent conversation with just looks. 

You decide not to go after him, as his parting gesture made it clear he did not expect you to.

The rest of dinner goes okay, as Vriska bickers with Dave over John who just chatters on, completely clueless. Feferi culls Vriska's cutting words with a gentle admonishment every once in a while. It is an interesting dynamic to watch as you and Rose have both agreed that Vriska doesn't actually hold any interest in John anymore and is just doing it to irritate Dave. You wonder if it's a black flirtation but Rose finds it highly unlikely as Dave has been steadily aiming for Karkat since meteor day one. 

Slowly the others leave to go find slightly more comfortable and darker places to sleep. Vriska and Feferi stay put, even as Dave drags John away, his voice pitched with irritation but his face giving away nothing.

“Oh Rose, find me during the lunch break tomorrow, we've got to talk!” John shouts, waving enthusiastically, dragging his feet. You think he's doing it on purpose.

“John, man can we go sometime this century? The grass is calling me, it says 'Dave, come lay your too col head down here, take a nap on my precious blades!'” 

“Dave, what are you even saying?”

“Bye David, bye Johnathan, don't get lost!” Rose calls after them, as their banter fades away. You are busy watching Vriska and Feferi closely.

Feferi is fiddling with her hands, her fins have flattened, something you've noticed Eridan does when he's nervous. Vriska nudges her shoulder gently. You and Rose exchange looks. You both know whats going on, but you were never actually expecting this to happen.

“Sorry, I've been meaning to sea you for a while now, but I wasn't shore if I wanted to say anyfin. I told Vriska she didn't have to come.” Vriska snorts.

“Of course I did, I don't know why either one of us quadranted that douchfin,” she says. You take a deep breath. You need to stay calm on your own right now.

“Vriska not now,” Feferi frowns and then continues, “I just want to make shore you are safe and know what you're getting into.”

“I was there when he killed you Feferi,” you remind her, maybe not as gently as you intended to. She looks a bit taken a back but presses on.

“He's just an awful lot to deal with, it's taxing, and I don't want to see you burn out. Eridan is... is...” She stutters some, tears welling, and Vriska shoohes her quietly. You are quickly growing irritated. 

“I am more then capable of handling myself, I am the one who killed him.” Rose touches your shoulder gently.

“What I think Kanaya is trying to say is that she appreciates your concern, but she has this under control.” She tells the pair gently.

“I just,” Feferi starts again, but Vriska cuts her off.

“Well don't come to us when he goes psycho again.” She tugs Feferi into the darkness. You are left feeling agitated and concerned.

“Rose, do you think I'm making the right decision?” You ask her. Rose looks thoughtful for a moment.

“Well Kanaya, how do you feel?” Rose waggles her eyebrows, and pretends to take notes. You shove her gently, laughing.

“Shut up, Rose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shhhhhh, it did not just take me almost a month to write this chapter and I still hate it   
> John is next, I want johndave to cleanse this whole mess of a chapter. Also we learn more about the town, you know the actual point of the story xD


	12. In Which John Dabbles In Quardrants

Your name is John Egbert and you feel way older then you actually are. 

You and Eridan have just finished putting the floor in one of the new houses, and you are, suffice to say, exhausted. You sit down after giving it a quick once over. Eridan however is pacing across it, cape sweeping behind him, making him look purposeful. You find it a bit unsettling.

“Hey Kar,” he calls and you really hope he doesn't say what he think he's he going to, “I think it might be unevven!” Darn it.

“Fuck, seriously Ampora? I know I gave you John, but come on!” Karkat yells as he makes his way over, shoving his papers into his sylladex as he goes. 

“Hey, that's unfair!” You protest, and stick your tongue out at his approaching figure. You've never built a house before, this is not your fault.

“It's not my fault! John is a terrible troll, no sense of what's level.” Eridan whines. Traitor.

“Hey!”

“No offense!”

“Offense taken!”

“Quit your arguing nook suckers, I have to figure out how you fucked up.” Karkat starts to fan out and pads across the wood gently, face screwed up in concentration. Eridan trails after him, like a lost puppy. You have no idea what they're doing, it just looks like they're wading through an invisible sea of molasses. It takes him a good five minutes, but when he's done Karkat sighs loudly.

“See?” Eridan says, waving his arms at the floor.

“Yeah, you assholes fucked it up, fucked it up to hell.” He pulls his papers out and scribbles something down.

“I think it looks fine.” You tell them. You just want to go eat and sleep.

“Well you couldn't tell the difference between a hive complex and a cave system,” Karkat says off handedly.

“Ugh, don't be a jerk,” you tell him. You get up from your position on the ground and make your way over to them. 

You lean over Karkat's shoulder and see he is scribbling notes about the slight slant to the floor. Eridan is towering over both of you, jesus he's tall. You wonder if you'll get that tall. Probably not, Rose has been telling you about the genetics and how Eridan and Feferi are tall to show rank and that you'll be built more for strength. Whatever though, you'll still be taller then Karkat.

“I don't think we'll have to tear up the whole floor,” Karkrat admits through gritted teeth.

“I'm so sorry Kar,” Eridan says again. You roll your eyes. Hadn't he killed like a good handful of people? God he was whiny.

“Oh my god quit acting like a kicked woof beast Ampora! What is Kanaya doing to you, it's like I almost miss what an insufferable douche you were.” Karkat draws some diagrams, and flips to adjust a time sheet a couple pages earlier. 

“Really?” Eridan sounds hopeful.

“ALMOST!” Karkat pulls the diagrams back out and shoves them at you. “I want this finished before sundown, like really you can eat later we are so fucking behind on schedule I can feel Strider 2.0's shitty shades judging me.”

“Ugh Karkat this is ridiculous,” you protest, “It doesn't even look crooked, can't we just leave it the way it is?”

“No John, it's a hive -”

“House,” you correct him, feeling testy. Karkat growls. 

“Fuck you, it's a box for people to live in which means it needs a good foundation, this means the ground floor can't be slanted or the whole thing will slant, can you please wrap your miniscule brain around that concept. Redo it.” And you are very tired and very irritable and Karkat just won't let you go eat.

“You redo it then.” You cross your arms. You see Eridan shrink a bit to the side, looking sufficiently awkward. Karkat grits his teeth.

“John, I have to go over to the next house to see if Gamzee and Sollux have managed to lay their floor down without fucking up, and then I have to go to Aradia and Kanaya and see how they're getting along, I have exactly negative minutes to spend here and deal with this shit. Just help Eridan redo the fucking floor.”

“No, the floor is fine, I'm not touching it.” You deliberately take a step towards him. You're already taller then Karkat, it's not that hard to try and look impressive compared to him. And anyways, you've got nicer horns to toss around.

“You're acting like a grub just fucking redo the floor you imbecile.” 

“No.” 

“John.” His voice is starting to rise.

“Karkat.” Your voice is flat with annoyance. 

“John, go help Eridan fix the floor, I'm not asking you, I'm fucking telling you, this is me spelling it out so that even you can understand me. Go fucking straighten the fucking floor, now.” 

“Make me.” Karkat screeches as he grabs your shirt to tug you down to his face. 

“Go!”

“No.” You close the distance and kiss him roughly. He growls, it rumbles deep in his chest and you growl back which feels weird and rumble-y. Your teeth are clacking and you definitely taste blood. 

You hear Eridan hiss “finally” and you pull back abruptly. 

“I..I..” you sputter helpfully, Karkat lets go of your shirt and sniffs.

“Typical,” he says, voice like acid. You can feel your heart pounding and you want to hit him because who is he talking to you like that and you want to kiss him again so you can bruise his mouth and you want to disappear into a whole in the ground. You see Eridan looking very preoccupied with his almost empty sylladex on the other side of the house frame. You look back at Karkat, who is sneering at you, almost daring you to try that again. What if you just...

“I need to go.” And with that you fly out of there, you need to find Rose. What was that about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow long time no see guys :)
> 
> Well I wrote a JohnDave fic which took foreverrrr and I've started planning my small town AU and school started so busy busy busy~   
> Things should be back on track for now though :) I did some tag editing because I think I've decided where i want to focus. I've also decided i might series this and post drabbles when this main chunk is done but we'll see ;)
> 
> For now enjoy :D


	13. Awkward Shifts With Eridan Ampora

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you think you might finally be getting a grip on just how old you are.

And that is too old for this shit. But let's back track a bit because you have a lot to say on the matter of handling your romantic affairs badly. People should learn from your mistakes really.

As the sole witness to John and Karkat's great black romance finally coming to a head, you feel the pressure. It's a quiet overwhelming pressure that you know everyone will want to know and you need to tell them. But gog Karkat's face is just so pitiful. 

John shoots off faster then you've ever seen any of the former humans move. Karkat spats after him. He looked dark and angry and deeply hurt. 

“I'll be back in like five minutes, just get started on ripping up the second half of the floor.” He captchalogues his papers, shuffling them into his sylladex angrily. 

“Sure thing Kar,” you say carefully, you gently put a hand on his shoulder, “you knoww I'm sorry it didn't go the wway you wwanted it too.” You shuffle awkwardly, and he stiffens.

“Oh fuck off,” he bites back but sighs deeply when you flinch. You hadn't meant to flinch but something in your core is still a little skittish, and still not quite as confident as you once were. “It's fine Eridan.” And he goes before you can say another word. 

He's gone longer then five minutes, closer to half an hour really and you assume Gamzee made him stop and talk for a bit. Which is good because he comes back sounding way more normal. Which makes you glad that you've actually finished ripping it up.

“Awesome, so all we have to do is reset it the proper way,” Karkat appraises, looking relieved. 

“I told you I kneww wwhat I wwas doin,” you sniff. Your hive was a shipwreck but that was by design. You had a lot more going on underneath the surface of that wreckage.

“Oh please, let's just get to work before I have to start questioning my sanity about being alone with you.” He takes the planks and starts slapping them down, so you follow in suit. It's a slow job and you both stop often to stand and check how level it is. Karkat swears a lot, at you, at the wood, at the darkening sky and at being hungry. 

You watch him closely, making small talk about books and movies and gossip. He looks determined not to feel and you admire him greatly for it. You don't handle people as well as Karkat, you can't tamp down on your emotions like he does. Sure he's always shouting and bristling at others, but you never know if he's hurt. 

Actually you've missed talking with Karkat. He's harsh and funny. He's very blunt and not as determined to walk on as many tiptoes around you as some of the others. He never brings up watching you kill Fef. 

“The dancestors are a wreck of quadrant flipping anyways. Like Tavros had all that trouble but Rufioh has got people dropping like flies over him. Like what the actual fuck?” Karkat rants, sliding boards into place with careful practice.

“The creepy clowwn one is def still seein the older cat.” You say, clambering back to your feet and standing still for a second. You take a deep breathe and focus on your balance, testing the floor, making sure it's still right on the mark. It is so far, and you go back to carefully laying and hammering boards.

“No fucking duh, like I don't know who they think they're fooling but they're totally still red for one another.” He curses as he hits his thumb with the blunt rock you're using as a hammer. John had an actual hammer, but you're not bringing that up to him right now.

“It's obvvious, almost as obvvious as Gam and Tavv.” You smirk and Karkat groans loudly.

“Ugh Eridan don't get me started, the things I could tell you.” He rolls his eyes and pounds the last nail in with an air of finality about him. You both stand up top this time, doing one final sweep of the floor. This time around it's perfect. 

“Finally,” you sigh happily. This means you get to go eat right? Karkat nods to himself.

“It's not bad. But I think I'll have to come work with you again tomorrow.” He frowns sharply. You know he's thinking of John. 

“Come havve dinner with me and Kan,” you suggest. They've always been great friends, maybe he'll feel better if spends some time among friends.

“I should find Gamzee,” he tells you, “he gets restless and he'll want to know how I'm doing.” 

“Come on Kar,” you say, bumping his shoulder gently. He pushes you pack but there's a small smile on his face. 

“Maybe next time Ampora, I really should go talk to Gamzee.” You shrug and help him clean up. He packs away the tools with efficiency, storing them in a bag instead of his sylladex. You're using you're slightly better night vision to pick out nails that may have dropped. The ocean gets darker then the surface, and you're equipped for just that.  
When you're both finished, you follow his lead back to the rest of the group. You spot Kan almost immediately when you arrive. You glance at Kar awkwardly, hesitant to leave first.

“See you tomorroww?” You prompt.

“Yeah I guess so,” he sighs deeply, “thanks again douchefin.” Oh gog you really hope you've got you're earfins under control because fin wiggles would be so embarrassing right now.

“No problem.” He goes and sit with Gamzee, who's a little more on the edge then they've been as of late. You go to Kan and Rose. 

You don't tell her about the John fiasco just yet. It's Karkat's business after all and you'd like to get that friendship back. And you swear to gog you're not blushing no matter what anyone says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes such freedom~~~ Barring school I should update a bit more regularly now. This is going somewhere, everything will come to a head in due time~ (look at my shipping mess. Such a shipping mess<3)


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